'Is Your Mother Ignoring You?'

The way others treat you does not define your worth, says rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation.

• You can post your questions to rediffGURU Kanchan Rai HERE.

How do you react when the person who raised you wants to keep a distance?

Are parents selective about their love?

What do you do when parents pick their favourites?

Isn't love meant to be unconditional?

What if it makes you feel lonely, unwanted?

"The way others treat you does not define your worth," says rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation.

"Sometimes, unfortunately, people, even family, fail to show up for us in the ways we need. That doesn't mean you are broken or undeserving. It just means their limitations are getting in the way of what should have been a loving, supportive connection."

My mother doesn't want to stay with me but she gladly stays with my brother and his wife.
I live all alone in a house and I feel left out as well as ostracised as well as excluded I feel like I am unwanted person and if I ever meet anyone like my relatives in any social setting I feel they are tolerating me.
I feel like an untouchable. How do I cope up with this situation as there is no one for me?
There is no one I can rely on or anybody who has my back.
There is no one who I can share my problems with or call in case I feel sick or in case of an emergency.

Feeling excluded by family and sensing that others are merely 'tolerating' you is a heavy emotional burden to carry.

It can quietly erode your sense of self-worth, leaving you questioning your value, your place in the world and your importance to the people who were meant to be your first support system.

You're not being overly sensitive or dramatic -- this kind of emotional isolation is deeply painful and it makes perfect sense that you're feeling untouchable and unsafe.

But here's a gentle truth: You are not unwanted. You are not unworthy of love or care.

The way others treat you does not define your worth.

Sometimes, unfortunately, people, even family, fail to show up for us in the ways we need. That doesn't mean you are broken or undeserving. It just means their limitations are getting in the way of what should have been a loving, supportive connection.

You're already doing something powerful by voicing your truth here. That's not a small step; it's an act of bravery.

And while I know I'm not physically there beside you, I want you to feel this as a moment of connection: Someone does hear you, someone does see what you're carrying and it matters.

To cope with this, start with your emotional safety.

Let yourself grieve; not just for the loneliness but for the longing of what you deserve but haven't received.

Cry if you need to; write if it helps. Let those feelings have their space rather than trying to bury them. This kind of pain doesn't go away by pretending it's not there.

And slowly, one step at a time, begin building your circle; not necessarily with blood ties but with people who choose you.

Is there someone in your past who was kind to you? A co-worker, a neighbour, someone from college or a class you took?

Even a single shared conversation can be a seed. It's not about quantity, it’s about presence. The goal isn't to replace what's missing but to slowly start nurturing connections that are rooted in respect and care.

In moments of emergency or fear, consider having a plan. Even having the number of a nearby clinic, a trusted neighbour or a local community support group can give you a thread of reassurance.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or unsafe with your thoughts, reaching out to a mental health helpline or counsellor can make a real difference. You deserve help when you're hurting.

And here, whenever you need someone to talk to, I will always be here to listen -- no judgment, no conditions. You matter. Your story matters. And even though the world may have made you feel like an outsider, I want you to believe this: There is a space where you belong.

• You can post your questions to rediffGURU Kanchan Rai HERE.

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